Nityananda Institute

ARTICLES | KEEP THE FEELING

By Swami Chetanananda
(from a talk given November 1, 2005, Portland)

One of the most important of the forces at work within us that shape the form of our life is self doubt. Abhinavagupta, who is the foremost of all the philosophers of the Trika Yoga tradition, describes self doubt as the fundamental poison. Self-doubt poisons everything. Swami Shankarananda talks about self doubt as tearing thoughts, where we get into a place where we think "I'm not smart enough, I'm not thin enough, I'm too old, I'm ugly, I'm this thing, I'm that thing," whatever.

When I was in Los Angeles for the 3 Gurus program, I had the opportunity to meet with my friend Chakrapani Ullal, who is an astrologer, and who was for nine years a devotee of Nityananda. Chakrapani was a good friend of Rudi when Rudi was with Nityananda. Later, when Rudi was with Muktananda, Chakrapani was also there. I met him in 1973, and I brought him to the United States in 1978. He's still here, and seeing him again was really nice.

At the program, we rather spontaneously asked Chakrapani to give a talk about Nityananda. He did, and I thought it was a very beautiful talk. It was simple enough. The main thing that I took away from the talk, which I hadn't exactly understood before, was that Nityananda always used to say, to everybody, "Bhavana rakho." "Bhavana rakho." That is colloquial Marathi which basically means "Keep the feeling." "Bhavana rakho."-"Keep the feeling." Hearing that sort of rearranged my brain, and I finally understood where Rudi came up with the wish to grow. I never really understood where Rudi had gotten it until I heard Nityananda say, "Bhavana rakho"-"Keep the feeling."

Whenever we are dealing with our self doubt, or what Swami Shankarananda calls tearing thoughts, the simplest and easiest thing to do is to remember that you're a growing person. In the course of thinking about any of the limitations that you imagine exist for you, remember that you are a growing person. In those moments when you start to feel bad about yourself, rather than getting all indulgent in an orgy of self-doubt and recrimination, you can seize the moment to feel that you are a growing person, and get in touch with that wish within yourself to be sincerely and authentically a growing person. Otherwise you're investing all of the energy of self-doubt in limiting yourself, in denying yourself, in creating obstacles and blocks for yourself, not only in your emotional life, but also in your physical life. You'll tell yourself "I'm not good enough, smart enough, able enough, or whatever, to achieve in my life, to express my creative energy fully enough, physically, materially, emotionally, creatively, aesthetically, artistically, whatever." Instead of investing your energy in that, you can be investing your energy in the reality of this life, which is that we are here to grow.

The important thing to know is that we are in this world to grow. We are in this world to confront all of those limitations, our jealousies, our fears, everything that obstructs us, and become completely established in the flow of creative energy, the flow of creative power that is the essence of our body and our physiology and our mind. It is the essence of our life that pours out from us and takes the form of our relationships and our creative activities, and everything that we do comes from within us. It's not that we are in this life; whatever life we have comes out from within us. So don't get tangled up in your imaginings about what your limitations are.

The wish to grow has the capacity to totally change your understanding of yourself, to reorient your creative energy from creating problems, blocks and obstacles for yourself and ultimately putting yourself in a very small box, to being a vehicle by which you will continuously open yourself, recreate yourself if you will, and find from within yourself a joy in living and a confidence and a strength and a peace that is profound. At the same time, holding that feeling of the wish to grow is the same as reaching into yourself into a place that is sacred and pure and totally beautiful and profoundly abundant, where you will find a fulfillment and an abundance in your life that is truly profound. This wish to grow reaches from us, from our heart to God's ear.

Going through your day, confronting the issues that you have to confront, in the challenging circumstances that you face, remember that you are a growing person. Remember that you are in this world and that you want to grow, deeply. Hold that feeling. Cultivate that feeling and hold it as you move through your day and in your life and you will begin to see the tearing thoughts and self doubt dissolve and disappear. You will find in yourself an orientation and a strength and a focus and a profound sense of purpose.

I was really happy to hear Chakrapani talking about Nityananda saying "Bhavana rakho." It was so simple, just two words. It made me appreciate how thoughtful and brilliant and clever Rudi was in taking this spiritual tradition, this very sophisticated practice, which was coming at him a language that he didn't understand, and synthesizing his experience of it so that he gave it to us in a very straightforward manner in our own language. You just can't imagine how fortunate that is. I have been involved in translation issues in oral transmission circumstances as well as scriptural circumstances, and I can tell you it is an amazing gift to have that.

So don't think about what your problems are, and definitely do not think about what your limitations are. Instead, commit yourself to being a growing person in all of the circumstances that you have to deal with, whether it's with each other or in your job or with your parents or whomever. Be a growing person. It's that wish to grow that awakens and unleashes the magic that's hiding in your heart. So be that, and I will help you.

n e w s

Snatam Kaur & Shantala in Concert May 28

New Yoga & Meditation Class Offered at The Movement Center

New On-line Members Forums (You Must Register to View)

Alternatives for Health Seminar May 10 & 11

New E-mail Archive

Art of Chod DVD Now Available through Rudra Press

Programs in Europe 2008

c a l e n d a r

Monthly Calendar: May 2008

Weekly Program Schedule

Weekly Program Schedule

Programs with Lama Wangdu Rinpoche

Next Queen Of Great Bliss Puja: 6/1/08

Next Service Day: 5/17/08

Summer Retreat: July 22 through 27, 2008

a r t i c l e s

NEW! The Heart of the Matter by Swami Chetanananda (from a talk given January 22, 2008, Portland)

NEW! Living in Our Real Life by Swami Chetanananda (from a talk given November 19, 2007, Portland)

We’re in this World to Grow by Swami Chetanananda (from a talk given October 17, 2006, Portland)

Contact, Surrender And Flow by Swami Chetanananda (from talks given at the July 2005 Retreat, Portland)

Keep the Feeling by Swami Chetanananda (from a talk given November 1, 2005 in Portland)

Updated April 30, 2008